Wednesday, 20 August 2014

More Access!

apparently, Elsevier has decided to provide access to its developmental cognitive neuroscience archives. happy day for those of us who like to read studies. bleh for the non-readers. here's a link:

Elsevier logo

keep learning. a gun is merely a tool. the true weapon is your mind.

Saturday, 26 July 2014

What in God's name are they doing to the children?





for all of my atheist friends who say that they're going to 'let their kids decide' if they will become believers or not. you're not getting it. they are VERY adept at stealing children from the ranks of the rational. multiculturalism can only go so far. there is no need to respect these people's religious practices, especially when they clearly include child abuse.

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Blame. The. Victim.

Having been on this earth for going on 4 decades, and having had a normal sexual life, including more than my fair share of one night stands and more than a few long term relationships, I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times I have been accused of rape--zero. Why? Oddly, the answer is not some earth shattering, monumentally technical, jargon laced, pseudo intellectual, rape apologetics. I'm just not into denying any other human being the dignity and bodily integrity I believe (I suppose in my black 'leftist' heart), they deserve, since I believe I have those same rights. I have never been accused of any other crime at all actually, until recently, when the craven cowards at avfm accused me--falsely and with no evidence at all to back it up-- of stealing money from the Earl Silverman Center charity project*. Full Disclosure: when I was 8 or 9 I did run out of a grocery store with a copy of a Blue Beetle comic book without paying, though I was never caught or charged.

There is one other reason that I've probably never been accused of rape (aside from not being a rapist)--I have never, nor will I ever, subscribe to the 'she had it coming' school of rape apologetics (or any other school of rape apologetics for that matter)--which Paul Elam and John Hembling might--well, to be honest, I'm not one hundred percent certain that Paul Elam's article on a "satirical" rape study--- wasn't "satire"--but if it was, Paulie, you're doing it way, way, waaaaaaaay wrong. Also, it's entirely possible that John Hembling's stated position that he'd walk right on by if he saw a woman being raped, rather than help, in my opinion, is probably more due to sociopathic, narcissistic tendencies, or perhaps a lack of appropriate moral judgment, rather than wholesale subscription to rape apologetics, though I have to say, that from the tenor of the comments allowed on AVFM (not all comments are allowed-those advocating criminal acts, or disagreeing with the party line are deleted), I would be willing to make a not insubstantial wager that rape apologetics was at play in both Paul "truck nuts"  Elam, and John "The Intellekshooal" Hembling's positions, but again, that is just my opinion, and of course, I don't have a degree in psychology to back that lay opinion up, or evidence to suggest it's true, other than my impressions***** of AVFM, Paul Elam, and John Hembling's personalities, and some oh-so-radical layperson's interpretations of some of the things they've said, but I digress...

The reason this is important is: I don't care what a woman is wearing, IT IS NEVER HER FAULT SHE WAS RAPED, OH, AND NOTHING ANYONE WEARS, EVER, MEANS 'PLEASE RAPE ME'. I know this because, I've been told 'no', flat out, and in quite a number of very, very subtle ways, (such as one young woman who merely angled her body slightly away from me at the bar once--though she did accept a drink--fair enough, I offered, with no strings) and have oddly not ever stuck my dick in anybody without their consent-even if they accepted my offer of a drink. Even if they were wearing a turtleneck with their tits hanging out the top and a skirt that was thinner than my belt. Even if I had to take them home, strip them naked, throw them in their own shower because they peed on themselves, and slept on their couch while they sobered up***. The fact is that no one who wishes to remain philosophically consistent, and claim to be a human right's activist could ever say otherwise. If one holds that 'men's rights are human rights' (as an AVFM sponsored poster campaign recently averred), one must also make the claim --however implicitly-- that 'women's rights are human rights' as well. That is, if one wishes to remain intellectually honest, which is an open proposition for many men's rights and (let's be honest) feminist activists as well--the ones I call 'true believers', though I believe that johnny boy calls them 'gender ideologues', which is rather ironic, being that he is a 'true believer' in his own right.

So...what the heck does this have to do with Denise Ryan, John Hembling, and the UBC froth 'rape chant' incident? Well, if you're following, which I grant, is sometimes not so easy with me, I'll tell you: If you pretend that sometimes 'she was asking for it', or 'she was dressed like a hooker, so it's not rape', or something similarly stupid could ever possibly be justification for raping someone--anyone, man, woman, or rubber love doll, then I would caution UBC students thusly: if you don't want to be accused of spouting rape apologetics, even if they weren't rape apologetics, and you don't want to be
served, as the Vancouver Sun's Denise Ryan did, a healthy, unapologetic serving of, YOU WERE ASKING FOR IT, i suggest you OWN YOUR SHIT (TM), MAN UP, and PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES ON (TM).

So johnny boy, the upshot of all this is: don't complain that Denise Ryan is an 'unskilled liar'****. She was just omitting a portion of the quote in question. Remember when AVFM's Dean Esmay omitted that there was zero actual evidence to substantiate allegations of embezzlement and/or misappropriation of funds regarding the ESC, and you guys frothed up your MRA lackeys in a witch hunt-cum-internet harrassment campaign against WBB, Murray Pearson, and myself based on nothing more than Dean Esmay and Paul Elam's feelz'? I hembly** suggest you think of this as a bit of karma with AVFM's name on it.











*believe me, you're not the only ones getting tired of this topic. I am too, though I will NOT let this go--it will be the albatross I hang around the necks of Paul Elam and Dean Esmay, as they stand on the deck of the not-so-good-ship AVFM, or more likely, as they try to swim away like rats from a sinking ship.
**a rather weak pun on 'humbly'/ hembling, just a clarification for those of you that follow the karen straughan school of intellectual rigor.

*** true story.

****btw, johnny boy, the only reason that there's a salient difference between an 'unskilled liar' and a skilled liar, is that a skilled liar would be able to obfuscate the truth better, so, uh...why would you berate someone for being an 'unskilled liar'? Wouldn't it be better, oh, I don't know, if the "message" wasn't "crafted", as Paul Elam has admitted he does as a matter of AVFM policy? I mean, the only benefit of being or having a skilled liar on the payroll is if you're interested in lying, isn't it? I mean, AVFM wouldn't be trying to pass off lies as the truth, would it?

*****Dear Paul, Dean and Karen, this is how you make sure no one mistakes your claim for a learned, professional opinion or assertion of fact. Please make a fucking note --if you're not an expert, you say so. That's a bit of intellectual honesty you craven motherfuckers apparently don't know how to emulate.

Thursday, 12 September 2013

New Site Direction and Our New Admin


Welcome to the site, and an especial welcome to those of you that are sick and tired of the hate and fear mongering, racism, half truths, and generally injudiciously judgmental attitude of A Voice for Men, and the National Coalition for Men (among other hate sites). If you're here, it's likely that, like us, all the crap in the MRM+ community has worn you down and you're in need of something other than the well packaged stupidity, ignorance, and outright hate that places like antimisandry.com, avoiceformen.com and those other sites sell you.

If you're here, it's likely that you're tired of being played, condescended to, and outright having your trust abused by the sycophantic likes of GirlWritesWhat's victim narrative or Paul Elam's unapologetic stance on exploiting his readers, and so on.

So, what's in this addition for you and us? I'm glad you asked. We actually want to make a difference in your life, in the way you view the world, and in your ability to cope with the usually painful and draining circumstances that men and boys often come across in our modern western world. Along the way, we'll offer you the best reporting, the best advice, and the best community we know how to provide. Here you're actually going to have a voice, not only if you wish to contribute, but in the comments section, in our forum, and again, you'll have an alternative to the existing sites that claim to deal with men's issues, because we firmly believe that none of what exists to serve your needs right now is doing the job.

Now, don't get me wrong. If you've ever been to my Youtube Channel, or if you've ever crossed swords with me online, or if you've heard your brothers and sisters in the fight talk about me, you'll likely know that I'm abrasive, uncompromising, and downright obstinate on occasion. Which means I will say shit you won't like from time to time--which again, is another way to tell that I'm not here to make my living off your back. However, if you stick around, and i suggest you do, you're also going to find that I actually own my shit. That I actually respect truth, evidence, and honest disagreement.

What you're going to find here is shit you can use. From the advice to the information, from the DOCUMENTED research and reporting, to the exposure of MRM+, and atheism+ lies and bullshit, we're going to offer you the tools to win the arguments, challenge the dogmatic sheeple out there, and build or rebuild yourself, your life, your self esteem, and even just things that might need a new coat of paint.

What you're going to find here is not the advice of a damaged man nursing petty hatreds and insecurities, a recovering alcoholic fending off the desire every day, or even the advice of someone who's suffered what you have. I'm firmly of the mind that someone who's suffered what you may have, whether it be at the hands of a vindictive ex-wife (or ex-husband), an uncaring cultural milieu or court system, or whoever/whatever else, is not the most qualified person to give you a leg up in this world. Let's face realities-someone who's suffered these things right alongside you, whatever else may be said about their intentions, their motivations or their abilities, is hardly in a position to tell you what you can do to improve your circumstances--all they can tell you is what they did wrong, and you already know that part.

What you're going to find here is considered, thoughtful and informative propositions to resolve your difficulties yourself (with a bit of actual help). What you're going to find is fundraisers directly for existing charities, and not with the aim of paying for servers, salaries, or anything else. You're going to find the culmination of nearly forty years experience of living as a man, working as a man, fighting and winning both literally and metaphorically, learning, and thinking as a man--not a tradcon, not an MRA, and not a feminist.

What you're going to find is a community which you're going to be a part of, not just by commenting or joining the forum discussions, but a community where you'll be asked to BYO knowledge, opinions, stories, experiences, and everything else that makes you, you. You're going to find articles and information to help you deal with your own problems, insecurities and negative dispositions.

Our job, as we see it, is to make the term 'Menticulture', not only be about cultivating your mind, but also about cultivating the man you are, and becoming the man you can be, not just about surviving your divorce or child custody battle, or a false accusation, but about enriching your own life, working the system to your advantage, and adding culture, erudition and intelligence to what you're about, if you're not there already.  

I will caution you about this, though: I'm not your leader, and I don't want to be your leader. I don't want to be the 'de facto voice of the men's movement'-- which is sadly, the unfortunately rather accurate claim of 'A Voice for Men'. That's a job I'm more than happy to leave as vacant as it currently is. I am one person, living my own life as best I can, without needing or wanting to pander to fragile egos, the political ideology du jour, MRA's, feminists, or anyone else for that matter. If you choose to stay tuned however, I will promise you this: there will come a day when you won't need a hero, or help, or bullshit ideological lies of any kind to prop up your identity-- because I don't need them, and neither will you. You're going to be your own damn hero.


Your new site admin - ikonografer

Sunday, 8 September 2013

AVFM, Doxxing, and Clean Up on Aisle 3 of the MRM

Over the past month and a half Joe Mendez, Murray Pearson, and myself have been publicly vilified and cast as criminals by AVFM's Dean Esmay, Paul Elam, and some of their more ardent followers. They have put forth many accusations based on zero evidence and have instructed their minions to file false criminal reports against me in particular in an attempt to manipulate us into handing over control of the money we raised for the Earl Silverman Center earlier in the year.

I personally know how AVFM works, and Paul Elam has publicly said he has no interest in helping anyone he cannot exploit. When I was part of AVFM it was all well and good for them to support my project for the creation of the Earl Silverman Center (ESC) because they could claim partial credit for all the hard work that Joe, Murray and myself were doing for male victims of domestic violence. But once I completely separated from AVFM and publicly came out to say I no longer wanted anything to do with the MRM because of people like those involved at AVFM, they decided I was no longer of any value to them, or men in general, nor was the ESC, which is why they have done what they have done which is nothing short of a literal witch hunt.

Their lies and false accusations worked on some of you. The ESC is now in a position where it may not be able to move forward because of what they have done. They have systematically tried to destroy the very idea of the ESC by casting me, and the others involved in the ESC, as criminals. There is little chance the ESC can move forward now and we have been pushed into a position where we now have to decide in which direction to proceed so that men can still benefit from what is left of our efforts to do something good for the men in our community. We have decided that one feasible solution would be to take the money we raised for the ESC and donate it to Maison Oxygene in Earl Silverman's memory. We are still not fully decided if this is what we will do, but moving forward with the ESC at this point is most likely no longer a possibility thanks to AVFM.

AVFM has asked for 'accountability' of the funds we raised on several occasions, and wrote two articles casting us as criminals in an attempt to force us to reveal information to them about our finances for the ESC. We refused to play their game because we know that AVFM has less than admirable reasons for wanting this information. They have a history of screwing people over for their own personal gain, and we do not trust them in any way. This is why no information was ever given to them. They are not, nor ever were, part of the ESC and therefore they have no right to any of that information. Their sense of entitlement goes far beyond anything reasonable, and just as governments refuse to deal with terrorists and hostage takers, we refused to provide them with anything because they simply do not have the right to anything above and beyond what the law requires us to divulge. However, we did agree to mediation, but AVFM has refused to discuss anything - because claiming we refused to a mediated discussion is something their loyal supporters would believe - since evidence is not an issue for these true believers. Moreover, we offered to discuss the issue with them, but that offer was ignored.

It's time people stood up to these self-appointed 'leaders' of the MRM and said 'no' to them when they demand information they have no legal right to. It's time you, as MRA's, demand to know why you were led to believe something sinister was afoot, without any evidence. It's time MRA's of good conscience to demand accountability from people who level false accusations and besmirch the reputation of those of you who deal in good faith and of those who are willing to actually put themselves out there in order to help men in real life.



The simple fact is that AVFM never wanted the ESC to succeed. They do not want people outside AVFM to help men and the proof is obvious when you look at Earl Silverman and how AVFM did nothing to help him when he worked tirelessly for years. If they can raise 6k in 3 days after the man died, how much were they able to raise while he was alive? Hint: it's a round number, less than 1. The reason, they claim? Earl did not know how to use Skype and Paul said that he will only use SKYPE to contact people. The fault for Earl's failure lies with Earl according to Paul, and once again not with AVFM - par for the course in their refusal to accept any responsibility.

Earl was in dire need of financial support, and AVFM never ran a donation drive for him. They never supported Earl except in paltry words sprinkled here and there. It was only when he killed himself that AVFM sat up and began talking about him and casting blame on all kinds of people and the government, but never did they blame themselves for not stepping up to the plate and helping him - that is, until one of Earl's personal friends pwned them and the MRM on their own podcast. As far as AVFM is concerned, they were never part of the reason Earl became as hopeless as he did. It was everyone else's fault as far as AVFM was concerned - does that sound familiar?

The truth is, if someone is trying to help men without being somehow connected to AVFM, so that they can claim some of the glory, then they want nothing to do with you. That is the sad truth. They have no interest in helping men in any real way. If they did they would stop complaining about the lack of men's shelters and do something about it. They would be raising money in order to build their own shelters if they truly cared. AVFM is big enough to actually accomplish some real world change for men, yet they refuse to do so. Why is that? Why is it that AVFM can easily raise over 100K a year and yet nothing has ever been built or put in place for men in the real world? It's simple. Paul Elam does not want to help men. His only concerns are his own publicity, pockets and profit. He has zero compassion for men, or anyone in general, and his actions and words clearly demonstrate that fact - to anyone looking at the evidence that is.

When a movement claims to be about human rights, as AVFM has by putting the 'H' in the MHRM, they are saying they are concerned with all men regardless of gender, age, color, sexual orientation, etc... furthermore, a human rights movement cannot exist if that movement is against the rights of certain groups of people or individuals, as AVFM clearly is.

The most recent disregard for someone's rights has been with the doxxing of the Femetheist and AVfM's rationale that she poses a "real life threat" to men by having advocated for a reduction in the male population to 10% globally, even though she has never harmed a single person in real life and is only guilty of being young and a bit stupid and making outrageous blog posts and videos. If such concern were legitimate, the solution would hardly be to doxx her, would it?

While I do not approve of the Femetheist's views, and think that she is probably in need of some serious therapy, this does not mean that I approve of the vigilante 'justice' that AVfM promotes by sharing some of her personal information on their site, regardless of how 'easy' it was for them to find it.

The fact that it is all now in one place which is easily accessible is the problem. This now makes it possible for her to be found in real life by some crazy person, or people, who wish to do her serious harm. And she also has a child which AVFM has callously disregarded as a reason not to do what they did. Not only have they put the Femetheist in danger, but they have also put her child in danger. 

Is it illegal to doxx someone? The jury is out on that subject as far as the law is currently concerned, but whether it is illegal or not is not the question. The question is, is it morally or ethically right to take it upon oneself to expose someone they 'feel' is a threat to others? Is it right to disregard the safety of others around that person and possibly expose them to real harm just because one feels that person should be accountable for something? Should it not be up to the authorities to decide if that person poses any real threat to the public, or if they have committed any crime? Should the correct course of action not be to call the proper authorities and let them handle it instead of promoting vigilante justice where people can get hurt? This is, after all, the claim that Dean Esmay has made regarding the public lynching of myself, Joe Mendez, and Murray Pearson - he felt a responsibility to AVFMs readers and donors and that we were criminals based on zero evidence:



If there is a serious risk to the public the correct action is to call the authorities. Anyone with half a brain cell could tell you that is what responsible people do. They do not go onto their blog and give out any personal information on that person, hand their readers pitchforks and torches, and then expect any real justice to be served. The only thing that will come out of that course of action is the very real risk that someone will get hurt, or worse.

Could it be that AVFM never reported the Femetheist to the authorities because they know the authorities would not see her as any sort of risk to the public? Of course they did, and that is why they doxxed her so that their form of 'justice' can be exacted since the real world would never take their concerns seriously - because the cornerstone of western jurisprudence is that a person is innocent until proven guilty - in a court of law - not on the internets.

AVFM has appointed itself judge, jury, and executioner. They feel they are above, and even better than the law and that is a very dangerous mindset/position for anyone to have. Think this is just us? Ask Danny Boy how he feels about AVFM:



Dean Esmay did the same thing to me, in regards to doxxing, in his article on AVFM where he calls for his readers to criminalize me, even though there never was any evidence to support his false claims (which he later admitted to).

He put personal information out there for people to easily locate me - the name of the small town in which I live was put out there for all to see, which I had been very careful to never reveal on-line. His claim is that I did put that information out there, but putting the name of the nearest city to me is not the same thing in any way as naming the small suburban town I live in. The town in which I live is not in or close to Montreal, and he knew that, yet did not care that by naming the town I live in, he has now put me and my family, at real risk of harm. How did he know that my home town is not in or near Montreal? Ask him about the Christmas present he sent to our home via parcel post last year.


Since Dean Esmay's article I have had 3 real threats to myself and my family. Two of those threats came from men in Montreal. I have reported all of them to the proper authorities and now have to live with the very real concern that someone could harm me or my children at any time.

I have had to stop running the Men's Rights Montreal Meetup Group I had started in the beginning of this year because it is no longer safe for me to do so. I have also had to locate a new place for us to live and a new school for my children. They will lose their friends, their proximity to their father and their grandmother. These are the real victims of Dean Esmay's and AVFM's irresponsible actions, and do they care? No. To them anyone caught in the crossfire is a justified casualty if they can exact revenge on the one they 'feel' should be punished.Vigilante justice at its finest and a complete disregard for anyone's safety. Is this how a supposed human rights movement acts?

The deplorable actions taken by AVFM should be a wake-up call to the rest of the MRM worldwide. The fact that AVFM is the self-proclaimed 'head' of the MRM, and that they are using tactics similar to the feminists they purport to fight against is not only hypocritical, but quite telling on where AVFM's ethical and moral standards are. It is also quite obvious that AVFM will not hesitate to stoop to any level for their own sick amusement and financial benefit, and lest we forget, they claim to represent the whole of the MRM. Is this the face that the MRM wants to promote to the world?

The MRM needs to clean up its own backyard if it wants to do any real good for men and men's rights. There are good, decent people in the MRM who do great work and who are genuinely interested in helping men. But when the so-called 'head' of the MRM is as dangerous and detrimental to the movement as a whole as Paul Elam, Dean Esmay, and the rest of AVFM is, then people need to stand up and start condemning them publicly. The only way for there to be any real change for men is to get rid of the garbage within its own ranks. AVFM is not helping the MRM in any way. It is only an anchor that will drag everyone down with it if they are allowed to do so while they happily pay John Hembling and Paul Elam a full salary from AVFM donors to do it.

So where will the MRM go from here? Only those within the MRM will be able to decide whether it is genuinely concerned with men's rights or if it is only concerned with being a mirror image of the radical feminists that it purports to fight against.

It's time men stood up for themselves and demanded better, especially within their own ranks. The only ones harming men now are men themselves. Are you ready for a change, or will you continue to sit by and allow AVFM and their like to maul you just a little bit more? The choice is yours.



Monday, 26 August 2013

Karen Admits There is no Evidence Either

Just a quick update to my previous article where Dean Esmay and Suzanne McCarley admit they have embarked on a libelous witch hunt based on zero evidence.

Now Karen Straughan, (AKA: Girl Writes What) has also said that there never was any evidence for the libelous claims that have been levied against Joe Mendez, Murray Pearson, or myself on a mirrored copy by St37One of the video Joe had recently put up on YouTube.


My response to Karen:


So thank you Karen for also coming forth and admitting there is no evidence for the lies that AVFM, mainly Dean Esmay, Paul Elam, and Suzanne McCarley and their cheerleaders have been spreading about us is nothing but a bunch of lies. Thank you for admitting that this is just a witch hunt based on false allegations and accusations.

Now perhaps you could also admit that your bullshit accusations on your blog are also not based on any evidence whatsoever and that you are also guilty of false accusations? How about putting on your big girl panties and owning your shit Karen?

*Edited to add links in second paragraph.